How to Improve Your Self-Confidence

Learn to love yourself by treating yourself as you would a friend
Published November 6, 2015

Make a list of your many positive qualities and read it often 
This could include anything from being a good singer to a loving parent. So what if you’re not a brain surgeon or a supermodel? Very few people are — and you’re still a worthwhile, likable individual.

Pay yourself a compliment every day 
Focus on a different attribute — your clear complexion, pleasant voice, good dress sense — and say out loud: “I love my ___.” It may sound forced at first, but it’s a useful counter to self-doubt.

Do things you know will help you feel better about yourself
This could be anything from a new hairstyle to losing that first ten pounds. Tackle the easiest first, to build confidence in future efforts.

Give yourself regular treats
Whether it's flowers or outings — just as you would surprise a loved one. You do it to make them feel good; aren’t YOU worth the same consideration?

Spend time with those who care about you 
You’ll soon share their good opinion of yourself! If there aren’t as many supportive people in your social circle as you’d like, consider ways of expanding it. Ask yourself: “Who will help me feel good about myself?” Apart from your immediate circle, consider neutral outsiders, to increase your chances of getting positive feedback.

Avoid situations that reinforce self-doubt 
This could involve re-examining long-established relationships — perhaps with a critical relative or colleague who is continually reinforcing damaging self-perception. Are you forever seeking another’s approval, but never getting it? Rather than simply taking the criticism, you could:

  • Retreat from the relationship a bit.
  • Stop hoping for approval.
  • Respond more assertively to harsh remarks (Example: “I feel bad when you call me ‘stupid.’ I would prefer that you addressed me with more respect.”)

Try a little kindness 
Instead of beating yourself up whenever you goof up, give yourself the benefit of the doubt, same as you would anyone else. Focus on your achievements, not faults. Chances are, once you start looking, you’ll be surprised at just how many there are!