Embrace Self Compassion: Talk to Yourself Like a Friend

A little self-love goes a long way.
Published January 11, 2022

Talk to yourself like a friend

You have a setback and you beat yourself up over it. Your friend has a setback and you immediately build her back up to keep going. Why the change? Studies say that showing ourselves a little compassion—just like we would to that friend—actually helps us respond to obstacles in ways that help us reach our goals. Because at the end of the day, we’re all human and life happens. By treating ourselves with kindness and patience instead of judgment and criticism, we’re able to create real change and try new things.

3 fast facts

1. People who treat themselves with kindness and compassion after overeating are more likely to keep moving forward, instead of blaming themselves.

2. People who practice self-compassion also tend to be more accepting of their body and weight.

3. Studies show that when we notice how we show compassion to others, we're more likely to apply that compassion toward ourselves.5

Try this technique

The next time you’re struggling, think of how you’d treat a friend in the same situation.

1. Step one

Your close friend feels down because she ate more—a LOT more—than she planned. What would you say? And what tone would you use?

Example: “You’re being crazy hard on yourself. Slip ups are totally normal and you can get back on track tomorrow.”

2. Step two

You feel down because you ate more—a LOT more—than you planned. What would you say to yourself? And what tone would you use?

Example: “Ugh! Why can’t I ever commit to anything? I’m never going to lose weight—why even try? I’ve failed, again.”

3. Step three

Is there a difference between the two? Why? What would change if you talked to yourself like you would a friend? How would that sound?

Example: “It’s OK. Things happen and no one is perfect. I’ll meal prep tomorrow and find recipes that use ZeroPoint™ foods.”