How to make the most of your doctor’s visit

Going to the doctor is never fun — even if your visit is for preventative care like an annual exam, it can be intimidating and stressful. That’s especially true for anyone living with obesity. Maybe you’re anxious about what feels like an inevitable weigh-in, or you’re worried that your doctor will urge you to lose weight rather than fully investigating your medical complaint. Those are very real concerns.

“Patients with higher body weight report being stigmatized from healthcare providers who express negative stereotypes and biases toward them,” says Rebecca Puhl, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and the deputy director for The Rudd Center for Food Policy & Health at the University of Connecticut. “This can lead to poorer quality of care and communication between providers and patients. It can lead patients to avoid healthcare.” Even things like the size of blood pressure cuffs, chairs in the waiting room, and hospital gowns can make a visit to the doctor more stressful for people with larger bodies.

Everyone deserves respectful, quality healthcare. This guide will help you do what you can to navigate your visits with a little more confidence and ease, so you can get the best treatment possible.

Set an agenda

Rather than going in blank and letting your provider steer the conversation, sit down ahead of time and write down a list of the questions and concerns you want to cover, says Dr. Alexa Mieses Malchuk, M.D., MPH, a primary care physician in Bellefonte, PA. “You may not be able to cover every topic in one visit, so focus your list on your highest priorities.”

For an effective agenda, don’t just write down a general topic (“diabetes”), but what you want the visit to accomplish (e.g. “Can my lab order include an A1C test?”)? Sending your clinician your agenda before your visit can be helpful, as it gives them the opportunity to think through solutions before they’re in the exam room.

A friendly reminder that your weight definitely doesn’t need to be on the agenda. If you want to talk about seasonal allergies, you don’t need to talk about BMI, too.

Get more time

One study found that the average healthcare provider appointment was just 18 minutes. To get the most from your visit, make sure you’re on time, since a late arrival could result in a shortened or canceled appointment. You can also call the office ahead of time to ask for a longer visit. If you don’t feel settled on a decision at the end of a visit, schedule a follow-up to give you and your healthcare provider more time to consider the options.

Don’t feel bashful

To a doctor, there are no topics that should be off the table. “A symptom you consider embarrassing may be connected to a serious issue, and we can't help you with something we don't know about,” says Dr. LaTasha Perkins, M.D., a family physician at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, D.C.

Case in point: bloody stool. That’s not TMI at the doctor’s office — and your doctor needs to know because it could signal a condition that requires treatment, like inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), says Perkins. “We're on your team. What you tell your doctor is confidential and will be protected, so feel confident that you can tell them anything when it comes to your health.”

Say no if you’re uncomfortable

This may come as a revelation, but you don't have to say yes to your healthcare provider. If you’re asked to do something that makes you uncomfortable, like changing into a paper gown, you can simply decline, says Malchuk. This includes stepping on the scale. If the issue is about getting weighed in front of others, you can ask about recording your weight privately; if it’s that you don’t want to know the number, you can always ask your provider not to share it with you. Don’t be afraid to voice your preferences.

Keep complete medical records

Ideally, your medical care is part of a larger, centralized network — meaning, all of your healthcare practitioners have access to all of your healthcare records. If that’s not the case, it’s a good idea to keep a digital copy for yourself, along with a memo of your health history and current medications, including nutritional supplements and over-the-counter medications, says Malchuk

Bring a buddy

If your agenda includes having a difficult conversation with your doctor — about options for treatment, a scary procedure, or anything else — consider inviting a friend or family member along, says Malchuk. They can take notes as you listen, help you implement the advice afterwards, or simply be by your side. If no one can make it, ask your provider if you can record the session on your phone; that way, you can listen back later for anything you may have missed (getting new medical info can be overwhelming in the moment).

Collaborate with your provider

Your health plan shouldn’t be dictated by your provider — it should be a collaborative effort between you both, says Dr. Robert Kushner, M.D., a professor emeritus in medicine at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago. This shared decision making is “a process whereby healthcare providers take into account each person’s personal preferences, priorities, and goals before selecting a specific treatment plan.” If you feel like you're not an active participant in your care, tell your provider you want to be more involved. If you don’t feel like your provider allows you to be part of the decision-making process, find a provider who is more receptive.

Find a better doctor

You want to see medical providers you feel comfortable with, especially ones that don't always turn to weight as the source of problems. Remember: You want a provider who focuses on your weight health (the impact your weight is having on your health and well-being), not on the number on the scale. If you don't feel like your provider is listening to you, it’s a good idea to switch to a doctor who is specifically well-versed in obesity, like those at WeightWatchers Clinic.

The bottom line

Studies show that people living with obesity do face bias in medical settings. There are steps you can take to advocate for yourself — such as writing out in advance what you want your visit to address, sharing details of your symptoms and medications, and saying no to a weigh-in if it bothers you — but if you still feel like your doctor isn’t hearing you, it may be best to switch providers. Everyone deserves access to quality, affirming healthcare.