Take a Friendship Break (Without Breaking Up for Good)
Before you call it quits, try calling a time-out. It might help renew your friendship.
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Even the best of friends can get on each other’s nerves—but that doesn’t mean you should call it quits at the first (or even second or third) sign of trouble.
The truth is, people need to be in close relationships with others. When we feel satisfied with our friendships, we also feel more satisfied with our lives overall, according to a 2015 study in the journal PLoS ONE. But if a friendship starts to feel one-sided—for example, your friend is doing all the complaining, while you’re doing all the listening—you may find yourself feeling more resentful than supportive.
“Relationships need to be satisfying to both parties,” says Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., a psychologist, professor of psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine in New York City, and author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. “If you’re beginning to feel drained and unhappy about a friendship, it might be time to reassess your relationship. Taking a break can give you time to breathe and see the situation more objectively.”
How to tell whether you need a break
“The signs [that you need to take a break] are usually subtle,” says Levine. You might have a hard time scheduling get-togethers because neither of you see the relationship as a priority. And when you do meet up, she says, you may feel bored or run out of things to talk about.
“Ask yourself if you feel worse or better after being with your friend,” says Degges-White. “If you dread meeting up with her or find reasons to ignore her texts or calls, that’s a pretty good sign that the relationship is at a standstill.”