How to Be Kinder to Yourself

Weekly Technique

By Weight Watchers

Last updated May 8, 2022

Real talk: Everyone deals with setbacks. They’re totally normal. The next time you’re struggling, pause and think about how you might talk to a friend in the same situation.

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Imagine your friend feels down because she ate a lot more than she planned. What would you say? What tone would you use? Now imagine you feel down because you ate a lot more than you planned. What would you say? What tone would you use? Is there a difference between the two? Why? What would change if you talked to yourself like you would a friend? How would that sound?

Let’s dive a little deeper...

Fact: Tough love doesn’t work. Self-compassion does. Myth: I have to be tough on myself to reach my goals.

Imagine how you’d talk to a loved one who veered off-track: Would you lecture them about everything they should have done or point out every wrong choice? Probably not. We tend to be our friends’ biggest cheerleaders—all while being our own worst critics. But we’re all human and we all make mistakes.

The truth is, treating yourself with kindness and acceptance is what can help you overcome those obstacles and get back on track. Not tough love. Instead, responding with judgment and criticism makes you less likely to reach your goals. How you think about—and talk to—yourself is key to moving forward.

And don’t worry if a complete tone shift doesn’t happen overnight. It’s going to take a little practice to flex your self-compassion muscles. Right now it’s all about noticing how you talk to yourself (and others) so you can make a change.

Week two of our monthly theme, Myth Busting

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