Need help saying no? <br>Here’s how.
Weekly technique
Need help saying no? Here's how
In a year that’s been anything but normal, the festive season is possibly busier than ever. No matter how well we plan, there are bound to be last-minute invitations (Zoom happy hour, anyone?) that can leave us feeling a bit depleted.
How do we say no without feeling bad about it? By learning to properly prioritise ourselves and our goals, while maintaining relationships.
What to do:
Use these steps the next time you need to effectively decline an offer (for second helpings, last-minute plans, or anything else you want to say no to!), but don’t want to offend the person asking you.
Take a neutral path when describing your situation, so you can minimise any heightened emotions or blame.
Example: “I appreciate you offering me an extra piece of your chocolate cake.”
Example: “That’s so nice of you to include me in your Zoom holiday happy hour.”
Acknowledge the person’s POV and what she might want out of the situation.
Example: “Your chocolate cake was delicious - I’m so impressed you made it from scratch!
Example: “Your invitation was really beautiful and festive.”
Be as transparent as you’re comfortable with and explain why you’re saying no.
Example: “I’m going to pass on a second serving because I’m working on stopping eating when I feel satisfied.”
Example: “I’m feeling overloaded with so much screen time and I’m trying to limit my video calls.”
If you’re turning down something from a close friend, offer an alternative idea in return.
Example: “Can I take a piece of cake home for tomorrow?”
Example: “I’d love to catch up 1:1 with you this week on a phone call!”