Learn to love yourself (you're worth it)

We all want great self-esteem but it's not always easy to find when you're not feeling your best. The good news is, it comes from within and there are lots of things you can do about it. For psychotherapist Gael Lindenfield, author of The Self Esteem Bible: Build your confidence day by day (Element Books, £8.99), self-esteem is the value rating you give yourself. 'Healthy self-esteem means you feel as entitled to pursue happiness, health and satisfaction as those around you. You're good enough, warts and all,' she says. Unlocking the power of your own self-esteem is a matter of taking the actions that are right for you, day to day, moment by moment – starting now.

Like yourself
Don't wait for someone else's approval – think highly of yourself from now on. Learn to act on your own instincts. Gael says homing in on strengths instead of weaknesses is the key to self-esteem. 'Concentrate on your good features, rather than focusing on something you don't like,' she says. 'Say "I'm a good listener" instead of worrying about not being a great talker.' As your self-esteem grows, it will manifest itself as growing confidence. 'It feels better not to hate yourself,' says life coach Michael Neill. 'It's easier to achieve things when you don't think you're worthless.'

Create a positive self-image
How others treat us is a mirror of how we value ourselves. According to Gael, when we have low self-esteem people disrespect us and we support this by making negative comments and running ourselves down. Body language expert Judi James believes changing your physical stance is the quickest way to change the way others perceive and react to you. 'When you change your posture, you change the way your body language speaks to the rest of the world, and this changes the subconscious way you perceive yourself,' she says. It's pointless to sing your own praises if your body language tells people you're rubbish. Judi suggests acting as if you were your ideal weight – make yourself stand up straight and ditch self-hugging and self-hunching gestures. And smile. 'A face like you were weaned on a pickle sends out signals of stress and loss of control,' she adds.

Look after number one
Taking care of yourself physically, mentally and spiritually will make you feel better, more energetic and more positive, which will raise your self-esteem.

Research by exercise psychologist Dr Erika Borkoles found that doing four hours a week of gentle exercise, such as Tai Chi, aqua aerobics, or walking, improved women's fitness. The women in the University of Hull study, who ranged in age from 24 to 55 years, ended up significantly fitter after one year. Blood pressure, heart rate and cholesterol fell and respiratory fitness increased. Participants also felt better in terms of general wellbeing, body image, self-perception and stress.

Looking after yourself, for example, by having a massage or bath or just curling up with a novel, is also recommended by Gael. 'Each morning, when you wake up, do something self-nurturing – start the day with pleasure. Physical nurturing underpins self-esteem and helps the subconscious get rid of negative thoughts," she says.

Make good use of your time
It's essential to put a value on your time and use this precious resource to your benefit. One of the key tenets of life coaching is 'seize the day'. Don't idle away hours putting things off. Prioritise what is important to you and allocate chunks of time accordingly.

To keep things simple, Michael suggests taking a piece of paper and writing down three priorities for the month. Below, write three priorities for the next fortnight that support these. Then, every week, give yourself three targets that support your fortnightly and monthly goals.

Make a plan
Committing to long-term plans and challenges builds self-esteem like nothing else. Research by psychologist Angela Duckworth from the University of Pennsylvania shows that the greatest determinant of success is grit, an ability to stay the course despite initial setbacks.

According to Angela, perseverance is the key trait for achievement in all walks of life – from infant school to military training, to the arts and business. Immersion in a project creates its own pleasurable momentum. And this sense of achievement has a huge, positive impact on wellbeing and self-esteem.

So go ahead, set a long-desired goal and give yourself a timeline and a completion date. Bet you're feeling better already!

For more inspiring advice, read the latest issue of Weight Watchers magazine, out now!