How to be kinder to yourself

Weekly technique

By Weight Watchers

Last updated 20 January 2023

Do your inner bullies come out whenever you hit a setback or face a challenge? Learn to invite in a more compassionate voice instead—and get it to stick around for good.

Try this!

1. Think about the times you or your loved ones have struggled. List the kind words or encouraging phrases that they said to you or you said to them. 2. Circle the phrases that might feel most comforting to you during tough times. “You got this.” “Keep going.” “This won’t break you.” “I believe in you.” “You are strong.” 3. Post one (or more) of the circled statements where you’ll see it regularly. When you spot it on your mirror, scale, coffee maker, or wherever, say the words to yourself.

Let’s dive a little deeper…

If your default thoughts about your journey tend to be more drill sergeant than supportive friend—TEN-HUT!—that’s normal. Sometimes, self-criticism is so automatic, we don’t even realise it’s happening. But whether you went over Budget, skipped a workout, or feel like giving up, tough love isn’t the answer.

What is: just the love. And with a little practice—and yes, some time—self-compassion can become more of a natural reaction. It is a proven, powerful tool for making meaningful changes.

Start by repeating one kind phrase often—if you’re struggling on your journey or not. This simple behaviour can create a new pattern of thinking that will begin to help silence unhelpful and harsh self-talk, boost your confidence and motivation, and ultimately fuel your success.

3 fast facts 1. Responding to a setback with self-criticism can fuel the setback, making it more difficult to move past. 2. Treating ourselves with compassion can increase our motivation to get up and try again. 3. We have the power to change our self-critical thoughts to more self-compassionate ones.