How to be kinder to yourself

Do your inner bullies come out whenever you hit a setback or face a challenge? Learn to invite in a more compassionate voice instead—and get it to stick around for good.

If your default thoughts about your journey tend to be more drill sergeant than supportive friend—TEN-HUT!—that’s normal. Sometimes, self-criticism is so automatic, we don’t even realize it’s happening. But whether you went over Budget, skipped a workout, or feel like giving up, tough love isn’t the answer.

What is: just the love. And with a little practice–and yes, some time–self-compassion can become more of a natural reaction. It is a proven, powerful tool for making meaningful changes.

Start by repeating one kind phrase often—if you’re struggling on your journey or not. This simple behavior can create a new pattern of thinking that will begin to help silence unhelpful and harsh self-talk, boost your confidence and motivation, and ultimately fuel your success.