By Shani Petroff
The hour was getting late, my work was piling up, my stash of healthy food had disappeared, and my co-worker walked by with a package of peanut butter M&M's. She made a comment about needing a chocolate fix. I smiled and went back to my assignment.
I wasn't hungry. I didn't need chocolate or to go over my SmartPoints®. I told myself — you're not tempted.
Only I was.
For the next hour I thought about how much I liked that particular candy. I thought about how I was tired and could use a sugar rush. I thought about how I'd be better on the program tomorrow (I'm really working on not doing that rationalizing anymore). And before I knew it, I took out a dollar, trekked up the stairs to the break room, and was standing in front of the candy machine.
The pickings were slim. My friend had taken the last package of the peanut butter M&M's. I decided to take it as a sign that I didn't need the junk food, and I went back to my desk.
A little while later I stood back up. The machine had regular M&M's. I liked those too. I walked 10 feet in the direction of the stairs and turned around. I didn't need the candy.
Yet, 10 minutes later, I found myself back in front of the machine.
Where is your willpower? I asked myself.
The tiniest thing had set me off on a quest for candy. Candy that I hadn't even been craving a few hours earlier! Candy that would put me over my SmartPoints and very well send me spiraling!
I don't need it.
I reached for my dollar and paused as I went to feed it to the machine. This wasn't even the candy I really wanted. Yet, I felt drawn to it anyway.
It was just one item.
But I knew the truth, when I get like this — one turns to two, which turns to three and so on.
It would make me momentarily happy, but I'd be kicking myself right after it was gone.
Was this really how I wanted to spend my SmartPoints?
The answer was no.
I went back to my seat, and I stayed there. I didn't get the candy. I logged onto Connect, looked at everyone's stories, and told myself I could do it.
I beat the candy machine that day. Other days, it's beaten me. But I'm hoping for more wins — and I'm taking it one day at a time. The Weight Watchers program, its community and resources, really do make a difference. And I'm counting on all of them to help me in my eating battles and win the war.
We can do this!
You can find me on Connect at Shani! – I'd love to hear from you!
Read more Shani Weighs In.