Wellbeing

Let’s compare—or not

By Shani Petroff

I know writers whose books are on all the bestseller lists.

I have friends who own their own homes and don’t worry about paying their bills.

I see classmates who are married with children.

I watch as people reach their goal weight.

I want all of all of these things, but as of yet, I don’t have them.

There are moments when I’ll look at what others have, and I’ll get those twinges of envy. I’ll wish I had lost more weight, was more successful, and so forth.

But then I remind myself—l’m not in a race.

My journey—everyone’s journey—is their own.

I’ll get where I need to be by taking it one step at a time, by pursuing my goals, by not giving up.

I may have setbacks, I may have to find different routes, I may even have to take baby steps, but I’ll get there. However, comparing myself to others won’t make it happen any faster. The only thing jealousy will do is make me feel down, it certainly won’t improve my situation.

In fact, I find that when I celebrate someone’s success, when I’m happy for them, I’m much more productive. I see what’s attainable, what I can achieve. Seeing people make their dreams come true, seeing them work for something and attaining it—like reaching their goal weight—is aspirational.

That doesn’t mean I can’t want more, although I am trying to fully appreciate the things I do have. It just mean I need to focus on my journey instead of seeing how it measures up to someone else’s.

There’s no limit on success. We can all have it. It’s not an either/or situation. There’s enough for all of us. Helping each other along the way will only make us reach where we want to be faster!

You can find me on Connect @shani!

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