Cereal Program

By Adam Kraemer

As some of you may know (and some of you may not), I finally have a new job. If you read the part in an earlier post where I said I have a new job, you know this (if you didn’t, you don’t; well you do now). It’s true. Not only did I find a job in my field (medical editing for an ad agency), but I found it 15 minutes from my apartment.

Sadly, that’s 15 minutes driving, not walking. I already touched on walking to work; it would take about an hour and cause me to be covered in perspiration. I also touched on just walking home from work; it would require me to leave my car at work, which makes no sense at all.

But this entry is not about that. Well, it sort of is. Read on.

I believe back in the day, I oft complained about all the extra food in my old office. They were constantly having client meetings and putting all the leftovers in the kitchen and then emailing us that there were leftovers in the kitchen and then forcing me at knifepoint to go into the kitchen and raid the leftover taco bar even though I’d already eaten lunch that day.

Not a whole lot of great things came out of that office closing down, but losing the double lunch is one I cannot lament. I was also pretty okay with no longer having immediate access to vending machines, especially vending machines with no zero-calorie drinks. Also, the guy next to me was kind of loud.

“So what about your new office?” I can hear you asking me. Though that may just be the voices in my head. Let me tell you: We have free cereal and milk.

Literally, that’s it. No vending machines of chips. No mass emails going out announcing free pizza. No knifepoint.

Admittedly, we are within walking distance (if I’m allowed to use that phrase in L.A.) of a mall, and therefore a mall food court. But it’s about a 10-minute uphill walk (both directions, somehow) and it’s a surprisingly healthy food court. Lots of Asian offerings. I didn’t even know “mall sushi” was a thing.

But getting back to the free cereal for a moment, take a look at the photo. That’s the extent of the food offerings. Now I know that cereal and milk is, in fact, somewhat annoying in its SmartPoints® values. Higher than you’d think. Because cereal is carbohydrates and milk is animal fat. Obviously, the trick is not to eat too much. But the other trick is cereal is not pizza. Or a taco bar. Or bacon-wrapped bacon.

I have no idea if that’s a thing.

I like to have a single serving of cereal in the morning by combining a very little amount of all of them in a single bowl. I get Life (wheat), Rice Krispies (rice, duh), Corn Flakes (corn, duh), and Cheerios (oats). The only thing missing, as near as I can tell, is bran.

No matter. It’s reasonably healthy and if I keep myself to a combined single serving, it’s also well within what I consider a breakfast option on the Weight Watchers plan. I’m also starting to worry that the cereal disapproves; I could have sworn this morning I heard, “Snap, crackle, thhhhp.” I’ll have to investigate further tomorrow.

Talk to you soon.

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