Sarah didn’t wake up a new, transformed woman who lost 95 pounds overnight. Over three years, she learned how to use fitness to manage her feelings and broke of with her best friends, Ben & Jerry.
Did you always struggle with weight?
Yep, pretty much from when I was 8 years old.
Puberty didn’t help the matters and neither did my Italian family. Food was love in our household.
My grandmother lived downstairs from us, and she was always making homemade pasta, and I’d even help her make raviolis. It was a nice tradition, but I was heading into my teens as the “fat” girl and that wasn’t so nice.
I never had a boyfriend, or really any relationship with any boys throughout high school. I remember one year, my friend and I went shopping with our mothers. She was this tall, skinny, beautiful thing, trying on all these clothes while I just watched. I always wanted to be able to experience life and not blend in the background.
He’s not really watching what he eats, but I think he has become healthier just from the small changes. He still brings some snacks in the house, like ice cream or Cheetos, but they’re no longer triggers for me. And I still love to bake, and I send those to work with him.
When did you decide to make a change?
When I reached my late 20’s, I’d been laid off from my job, and I felt very depressed. Sometimes I felt like I no longer had a purpose to wake up each morning. I’d secretly binge in the middle of the night while watching bad television. I started to wake up every single morning crying because my biggest pair of pants started to become too tight. I knew that I needed to either make a change or spend the rest of my life being miserable. I chose to join Weight Watchers.
How did you begin changing?
I started becoming more aware of what I was eating. I also started exercising more, and I slowly became that person who loves working out. When I was younger, I hated gym class. I’d ask, “Mom, I have a stomach cramp, I can’t do gym. Could you write me a note?” But I started going to the gym, and slowly, I realized how good I felt, and it started to become a way to deal with my emotions. I remember one day; I had just had an interview, and I thought I had the job in the bag. When I received the e-mail that they were going in another direction, I was devastated. My old self would have eaten a pint of ice cream. I went to the gym instead, and I let out all of my frustration there.
What about your Mom? Is food still love?
Oh, it sure is. But instead of bringing over a casserole dish of lasagna, she likes to buy fruit. She’ll call and say, “Oh, I just got a big package of raspberries, I’ll bring them over tomorrow.” It’s ridiculous! Anyway, it’s probably good she brings it over, because now my husband likes to eat my 0-points fruit.
Love to bake?! That must be tough
I’ve always been a little Betty Crocker—and I just didn’t want to give that up. Plus, his coworkers really appreciate the treats. And I’m really careful to not have extra ingredients in the house. If I’m making my special Snickers cupcakes, I count out exactly how many mini Snickers I’d need, and I put all the extras in a little baggie and send them off with my husband, too. I don’t want to think, “Oooo, baking is bad” because I enjoy this hobby. And if I really want something, I save a treat for myself and make sure to get enough activity in throughout the week.
It seems like you’ve really changed your relationship with food. What would you say to someone who is starting out like you did, and thinks it’s impossible to make a change?
Don’t give up—you just simply can’t give up! Listen, it’s taken three years for me to get here. I first joined because I was getting married, and I didn’t want to look unhappy in the photos. I lost about 35 pounds by the wedding, and I felt great. I could’ve stopped right there but, instead, I went back to Weight Watchers after my honeymoon and weighed in. It had been a month, I went up only 0.2 pounds—0.2! In that moment, I realized that I was able to be happy and in love and have all these great experiences, and still keep losing weight. Now I’m five pounds from my goal and it’s awesome, it’s weird, it’s empowering, it’s exciting and it’s a little foreign. It’s been quite a ride.